Just Like a Porcelian Doll
by Zaxel
Summary: “Xemnas wouldn’t ever harm his beautiful doll. But like all porcelain dolls, if accidentally dropped, they crack.” Put back up and soon to be completed.
1. DRABBLE

**Just Like a Porcelain Doll**

**Summary**: "Xemnas wouldn't ever harm his beautiful doll. But like all porcelain dolls, if accidentally dropped, they crack." Rewritten!!

Ha! It's back and hopefully better than ever! Because of the outstanding reviews and extreme demand for this story to be put back up, I couldn't be mean and just leave you guys without it.

So here it is, Just like a Porcelain Doll. ENJOY.

--

Porcelain dolls…

How lovely and exquisite they are. So beautiful yet so fragile; so easy to break… The very being of the doll such as those should be treated with the utmost care. It should be cherished and kept away from harm. Most are placed on the highest of shelves in a small girl's room, away from tiny inquisitive hands until she is old enough to care for the doll. Or they are kept as decoration, placed on window sills or above a fireplace with other varieties collected.

Xemnas had always wanted a porcelain doll of his own, just one. He didn't want just any one though, oh no, he was very picky when it came to such things. His eyes were set on the most beautiful doll of all.

He had powder blue hair, as soft as cotton. His bangs were pushed back, making waves of spikes then meeting long locks that draped down his back and over his shoulders. His doll also had bright yellow eyes that glistened like honey fresh from the hive and soft velvet lips the color of light pink. His body was firm, strong, and well toned yet with skin as soft as silk and whiter than snow.

Nothing could compare to the beauty this porcelain doll had. Xemnas wanted him badly, despite how unmanly it was to own a doll. But Saïx wasn't just an ordinary doll.

He was the most fragile doll of all, though his demeanor proved otherwise to one who didn't know the Berserker well. Xemnas knew Saïx far better than he led anyone to believe. He knew that his doll—like all porcelain dolls—if accidentally dropped, they crack. He knew that Saïx had been broken before, as if his soul was shattered into a million pieces; pieces so small and sharp that they were most difficult to put back together. But Xemnas secretly loved him as though he were a brand figure. He loved Saïx as though he had feelings. Maybe that was what caught his eye? The fact that the Luna Diviner made him feel things that he shouldn't…

Xemnas sighed as he rubbed his temples in frustration, feeling a headache approaching. He knew he couldn't feel anything emotionally, so why was it that he wanted Number VI so badly? Could it be physical need?

Even that in itself was odd. When he was Xeahanort, he never thought of himself as being attracted to men. As a matter fact the thought of being homosexual sickened him. Maybe since he became a Nobody his feelings of attraction had also gone so that he was indifferent about sexuality.

That all didn't matter, really. All he wanted was Saïx (as what he dubbed as "his porcelain doll"). One day he'd obtain his doll and cherish him as a small girl would when she'd receive one as gift.

The thought made Xemnas chuckle bitterly.

---

**A/N**: hello guys! Sorry for the whole shortness of the chapter an all. If you haven't noticed, it's a little different than before. I'm aiming for the whole "Like the guy, get the guy, lose the guy, then get the guy back" concept.

I'm most sorry for the whole deletion of the story!! Please except my apology! I'm trying to make it better than before.

So, tell me what you guys think! Suggestions are most welcome!


	2. Chapter ONE

**Just Like a Porcelain Doll**

**A/N: **Fuck it… I'm posting all the chapters as they were… so there. I'll continue where I left off. It was too hard writing it over. I will still keep the first chapter there but consider it as a misplaced drabble if you will.

So here.

**----**

_Chapter One… Missing Pieces_

Porcelain dolls… How lovely and exquisite they are. Beautiful yet fragile… so easy to break, almost delicate. The very being of a doll like that should be treated with the utmost care. It should be cherished and kept away from harm. Most are placed on the highest shelf of a little girl's room, kept from tiny inquisitive hands. Lately they have been placed as decoration on window sills or above the fireplace with plenty other varieties collected.

Xemnas had a poppet of his own too. His collection only consisted of one— the most beautiful doll of all. It may have sounded very unmanly be he didn't care. He was proud of it. He loved his little porcelain doll. He cherished it, cared for it, loved it. It was his and his alone. His doll wasn't a mere toy or an embellishment of any kind. He loved him… doubtless, even if he couldn't feel. He was a Nobody. But he knew, even with a heart, he would love it just as much as he did so now.

And he knew his doll loved him just the same if not more. And he most certainly knew how beautiful he was. His powder blue mane felt as soft as cotton, with his bangs pushed back making waves of spikes then draping down his back and over his shoulders. His bright yellow eyes glistened like fresh honey from the hive, golden pools that anyone can easily get lost in. Soft, velvet lips the color of light pink. His body firm, strong, and fairly muscled like the perfect man yet skin as delicate as silk and white as snow.

Xemnas wouldn't ever dare harm his beautiful porcelain doll. But like all porcelain dolls, if accidentally dropped, they crack. His doll was once broken before he ever obtained him. His soul was shattered into a million pieces. Pieces so small and sharp they were difficult to put back together. The only visible scar was the X mark in between his eyes. Even if marred before, Xemnas loved him as if he were a brand new figure.

And heaven forbid he ever dropped him!

Xemnas pushed the thought away as he ran naked fingers through blue locks. Saix's eyes slowly opened, tiredly looking up at the other. He smiled softly when their eyes met.

"Hi," he greeted tiredly before Xemnas leaned in and pressed his lips against the other for a short quick kiss.

"Sleep well?" the other man asked, continuing to play with Saix's hair.

He only nodded before snuggling close to the other man, resting his head against Xemnas' chest. He sighed contently as Xemnas wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. Last night the two lovers were in the beginning of their lovemaking. Or at least _tried_ to start their lovemaking. But that was as far as it went. Saix couldn't go any further. They barley even made it to second base. Saix just wasn't used to such intimacy. Xemnas couldn't blame him though, especially with a past like his…

Xemnas knew the younger male wasn't ready but damn he wished he could just take him already! 'If it were only that simple,' Xemnas thought with a sigh.

"Something the matter?" Saix questioned.

"No, it's nothing," he said rather quickly.

"Hm," was Saix's reply, knowing it was a lie. Saix felt so guilty. Last night was just a mess. He tried, he honestly did try so hard. The moment was supposed to be special, but he just freaked out. He panicked. It wasn't fair. Not to him or to Xemnas. This was all he wanted, and Saix couldn't even do just that.

"Still tired?" Xemnas questioned, this time caressing the soft skin on the others arm.

"No, just comfortable," he sighed, tugging lightly at the black shirt Xemnas wore. "If it were only possible, I could stay like this forever."

"If it were only possible," Xemnas repeated before rolling over and hovering above the other. "But soon we will have all the time in the world when we get our hearts back."

Saix looked at Xemnas in confusion. "Are you saying…"

"You thought I was going to leave you?" Xemnas asked with a raise of his brow. "Who knows what might happen after we get our hearts back. But regardless, I know I could never forget what we have. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Saix suddenly grinned as he wrapped his arms around the mans neck.

Xemnas frowned at the reaction, "What?"

"Are you proposing to me?"

Xemnas could only chuckle. "Us? Married? It's a little too early for that, don't you think?"

"Maybe. But it's not like you can get rid of me anyway," Saix said before bringing him down for a quick and innocent kiss. "I'm stuck to you like glue."

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Xemnas said lastly before their lips met once more, this time sharing a deep passionate kiss.

Saix instantly melted into the kiss, slowly opening his mouth when he felt Xemnas' tongue slide across his lips. In moments their tongues were soon twined, moving eagerly and hungrily against each other. Saix moaned softly when Xemnas captured his bottom lip before pulling back to break the kiss.

Saix opened his eyes slowly to meet Xemnas' tanned face with a small smile. Saix looked away slightly in guilt, causing the Enigmatic Man to frown considerably in worry.

"What's wrong?"

Saix sighed deeply, not really wanting to ask the question but was dying to know the answer. Could such a simple question be answered just as easily as it was said?

"Why?" Saix asked, looking back at the other. "Why do you put up with me?"

"What do you mean?"

"I just don't understand. Why are you so good to me? I've given you nothing and yet you still care."

"You've given me a reason to live," Xemnas said as he rested his forehead against Saix's while closing his eyes. "That's more than enough."

Saix closed his eyes as well, sighing deeply. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'll wait for as long as you want me to." Xemnas whispered softly. A sudden realization hit him. His doll was still broken. He was still fractured. The cracks from the previous owner left him feeling vulnerable and frightened. He was still hurting.

Xemnas opened his eyes to stare at Saix and moved his hand to caress his soft yet pale cheek. So perfect and beautiful, simply flawless. The moons soft light that poured into the dark room illuminated his silky skin, only further implying how truly beautiful Saix really was, as if he never were broken. It pained Xemnas to know that his doll was severely damaged once before. And the cracks were still there. Xemnas promised as he placed another kiss on Saix's lips, he'd never let the Luna Diviner break again. _His_ Luna Diviner.

His porcelain doll.


	3. Chapter TWO

**----**

_Chapter Two… Insight_

-----

"What is _that_?"

"It's something."

Saïx looked at his superior oddly.

"For you," Xemnas added with a bright smile. Saïx continued to look at him. "It's a gift!"

"And… what am I supposed to do with it?" he questioned as if it so alien.

"…you… take it."

"And… then what?"

This time it was Xemnas' turn to do the staring. "Are you telling me… you've never received a gift?"

Saïx only shook his head and Xemnas blinked blankly at him.

"You're kidding… right?"

"I've never heard of such thing."

… And he was serious too…

Xemnas sighed in disbelief. 'Oh my… what a problem,' he thought. Saïx had never received a gift before. To be put simply, it was just sad. How was he supposed explain something like that?

"Um… well, a gift is something that someone gives to you. Like a type of sentimental idea. Anything could be a gift and could represent all kinds of things," Xemnas explained before pausing and looking down at the wrapped up box in his hands. "For example, I'm giving you this gift as symbol of my love for you."

"A… box?" Xemnas nearly anime dropped.

"No... It's what's inside."

"Oh… so what's inside?"

"You have to open it first."

"oh… right." Saïx blushed slightly in embarrassment. Xemnas chuckled as he handed the Luna Diviner his gift. Said nobody looked at the beautifully wrapped present. It was a small silver box with an oversized black bow. Saïx looked at Xemnas from his gift, getting a nod from the superior before he opened it and inside was a small locket. Saïx carefully took out the small trinket and examined it. It was a small silver necklace; a thin chain with a small heart shaped charm hanging from it. It was so simple yet so to beautiful at the same time.

"So this is a gift?" he asked still studying it.

"It's a type of gift. It's _your_ gift." Xemnas answered. "Do you like it?"

"I love it." Saïx replied, finally looking at Xemnas and giving him a sweet smile. Xemnas couldn't help but smile back. He made his Luna Diviner smile. It was something he ever rarely did and each time he did, it made Xemnas suddenly feel warm inside. It was a pleasant sensation, despite the fact that he couldn't feel and knowing the feeling was only false, he really didn't care. Knowing that Saïx could make him feel at all was just a wonderful feeling all together.

"I'm glad."

**---**

Happy.

That's what Saïx felt. An extreme overwhelming feeling of happiness. Odd though, knowing that a Nobody can't feel at all. But what the hell… for once he actually felt something other than anger. It was as if it were an eternity since he actually felt anything besides negative feelings. Actually feeling something… actually feeling _happy_… it made the Luna Diviner smile.

He slipped out of his thoughts when he unexpectedly bumped into something. It was Zexion.

"Oh, hello Saïx!" He greeted rather… _cheerfully_.

Why… why must he be bothered? He was feeling so elated too. He knew the Cloaked Schemer was going to ruin his day. It _always_ turned out that way.

"I was looking all over for you. Vexen needs some help in the lab so wants us to do it."

Well, of course. For some reason, Vexen always found Saïx to be much helpful but… "why you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why does he need you to help him?"

"I don't know, he just- WHAT is that around your neck?"

"What?"

"That thing on your neck! What is it?"

Saïx looked at Zexion awkwardly, completely at a loss and unable to get what the young Nobody was talking about before his eyes became wide and his cheeks reddened.

"Oh… you mean the necklace?" Saïx began as he found his hand moving to tuck the locket under his coat. "It's just… uh, a trinket."

"Who gave it to you?" Zexion questioned as he looked at him in suspicion.

"It doesn't matter." Saïx said quickly as turned around and began to walk again down the white hallway.

"Ooo… a secret!" Zexion said eagerly while following behind. "So… who gave it to you?"

Saïx sighed in exasperation, knowing all too well that Zexion would not let this drop. This could've been avoided had he hid the locket but… why would hide something so lovely? Then again… he should've. Because something like Zexion would come along and annoy him about it.

"Was it Larxene?" he guessed with a cheesy grin. "Of course it would be her! You two always seemed perfect for-

"Would you shut it?" Saïx snapped, turned around and looking at the silver headed boy angrily. Zexion looked at the older male with wide blue eyes in surprise before grinning again.

"A man gave it to you."

Saïx huffed in frustration as he turned around and walked away from the boy in forfeit. He was seriously annoyed and Zexion knew it. Oh, how he loved to mess with the Berserker!

"Ah, but not only a man… I bet it was—

Zexion was cut off by a sudden and very loud explosion coming from the lower levels.

"What… was that?" he asked rather uneasily. Saïx didn't answer and instead sweat dropped while the words 'get back here' echoed throughout the white corridor.

Running up the hall was Axel, smiling crazily while being chased by a VERY angry (and crispy) scientist. He was only able to stop when he crashed into the Cloaked Schemer hard, causing the two to hit the ground. Zexion was out cold and Axel began to giggle insanely and Saïx only starred blankly at him. Vexen finally caught up, out breath and overcooked.

Saïx only had to give Vexen a questioning look before he answered in a very angry, loud, frustrated tone. "The fool is drunk! And he blew up my lab!" he cried.

"He said fire!" Axel laughed.

"My LAB! It's ruined!" he cried once more as he threw up his arms to add to his angry affect.

"FIRE!"

"No! Bad Axel!" came Roxas' voice from up the hall. He came rushing down and sighed when he glanced at his pathetic friend on the floor, giggling like an idiot. He looked at the pissed off Vexen and groaned, only imagining the damage his drunken friend had already caused.

"Jeez, for once second I look away and you run off to cause havoc. No more alcohol for you!" Roxas scolded as he took Axel by one of his legs and began to drag him away.

"Haaha… iiy luff jyu!"

"Yeah… whatever." Roxas sighed.

Saïx blinked.

"So you needed me to help you with something?" he asked, turning to Vexen and trying his best to ignore what just happened.

The blond haired man sighed. "It doesn't matter now…" he said depressingly before sulking away.

Saïx watched Vexen for a little while before his attention went to Zexion, who was still on the floor and still down for the count. It doesn't seem like he'll be up anytime soon…

Saïx, ignoring the unconscious Nobody, walked away.

**----**

Saïx found himself in front of familiar oversized double doors. He sighed while staring at them. He really didn't want to bother the Superior, not that Xemnas ever found him a bother at all but he always thought that he was just saying that. He always walked in while Xemnas was in the middle of doing paper work. Saïx always tried to walk away and would tell Xemnas he'd be back later when he was done. But for some reason his Superior wouldn't let him and ordered him to stay, putting all his work aside and giving his full attention to the Diviner. Saïx always appreciated that but he never understood why. Was he really that important to Xemnas?

Brushing the thought aside, Saïx finally pushed open the doors, seeing as they were slightly open, and then stepped into his Superiors room, closing the doors softly behind him. As if instantly he spotted the Enigmatic Man. He was fast asleep on his desk, papers and such all over it. A small smile tugged at Number VII's lips. He walked over to the oversized bed and grabbed one of black satin blankets and placed it over the man. Saïx ran a gloved hand gently through Xemnas' silver locks. He was truly beautiful. Saïx couldn't help but stare at him.

"Why?" Saïx whispered with a deep sigh. "I don't deserve someone like you."

He continued to run his fingers though the silver hair while completely lost in thought before his eyes caught a glimpse of Xemnas' notebook. His name was all over it… Should he look at it? He wondered… why would his name be in his Superior's reports?

Aw, to hell with it!

Saïx moved his hands away from the Enigmatic Man's hair to the notebook his arms and head partially covered. Saïx swiftly yet carefully slipped the note pad from under him and gasped slightly when Xemnas shifted. He never woke and Saïx let out the breath he was holding.

Looking at the book at his hands he continued to contemplate on whether or not he should actually look through Xemnas' paperwork. He soon found himself sitting at the edge of the bed and flipping through the pages until resting on a page which his name appeared often.

……

What the _hell?!_

**----**


	4. Chapter THREE

Chapter Three… Cracked Again

--

Lies… That's all they were.

Lies. Everything in those reports… they were all lies.

At least… that's what Saïx wanted to believe. And for some reason, he couldn't… even if he tried.

Sighing, the blue haired nobody hugged his legs tighter, pressing them as close as possible to his chest. For some reason he felt vulnerable. He felt robbed. He felt betrayed. These feelings, he shouldn't even feel them. But they were there. He knew he felt something. And he felt angry. He was downright pissed. And unsurprisingly he felt betrayed.

He felt as though he had been robbed of something. Xemnas kept things from him, things that he should've known. He had the right to know these things. Why did Xemnas hide it from him in the first place? Why would he do something so low?

Saïx felt hurt. He honestly felt everything an angry boyfriend would feel except jealously. But he might as well feel that way too since, according to the reports, Xemnas' five subordinates knew about it.

And Zexion knew. Zexion was supposed to be his best friend. He was his first and only friend in the organization, if you could even call a nobody a friend. He trusted Zexion. And seeing that Zexion knew this entire time most definitely stuck a nerve. It only made things worse.

As Saïx thought about it, the angrier he became. He exceedingly felt deceived. He just couldn't understand why. Why did Xemnas keep all that from him? It was unfair… It was excessive… It was blatantly disgusting!

No… he couldn't start ranting like that. There had to be a reason why Xemnas would do that to him. There had to be some kind of reason. Saïx wanted to know. He had to know. Even though he shouldn't, he decided to look for Xemnas himself. He finally stood up and made his way out his bedroom to seek his superior. It wasn't a very good idea, seeing as he was very angry already; he might "accidentally" punch his superior in the face if he said something wrong or not to his liking. It didn't matter, Saïx thought. He deserved it anyway, right?

…

"Number Nine."

Demyx stopped walking down the hall and turned around to see his superior looking somewhat… gloomy. It was quite odd since his Xemnas was really the only Nobody who showed absolutely no emotion unless Kingdom Hearts was mentioned in any way or form. Seriously, the man became somewhat romantic in a creepy way.

"Hey Superior. What's up?" the melodious nocturne beamed like always once said man was close enough.

"I've been looking for No. VII. Have you seen him?" Xemnas asked hesitantly.

"Saïx? The last time I saw him… he was in that…… uh… room that's upstairs and… it has all of our thingies in it and… he was staring at his tombstone thingy for a while and…"

"Proof of Existence. Right. Thank you. Good bye," was what Xemnas said quickly to get rid of the idiot of a Nobody he recruited.

"Uhm… is something wrong?" Demyx asked, noticing the grim look he suddenly had.

"No, nothing, why would you think that?" Xemnas said quickly, walking away. Unfortunately, the blond began to follow.

"Well, you look kind of bleak."

"Bleak you say?"

"Did something happen between you and Saïx?"

"No. Don't you have something to do like play with your sitar?" Xemnas questioned, trying desperately to get rid of the blond teen.

"Well, you see, that's the thing. I was playing it in that… room… but when Saïx walked in he grabbed my sitar and smashed it. He seemed very, very mad…" Demyx explained. Xemnas sighed.

This was not good. Saïx obviously read the reports he left on the desk. It made so much sense. They were missing when he awoke. Everything in his bedroom was thrown about; trashed as if someone was eagerly and desperately looking for something that had been misplaced. His paperwork and important documents were scattered all over the room. The only Nobody that was permitted in the Superiors chambers and was more than angry enough to wreck his bedroom was Saïx. Saïx was the only Nobody that wouldn't care of the consequences for breaking any or all rules. Crossing the line was what Saïx did rarely, and only if he had a rational reason to do so. This meant Saïx had most defiantly read those reports. This was not good at all.

"Sir, is something wrong?" Demyx asked, looking up at Xemnas in question.

"No, of course not." Xemnas answered casually. Demyx new better though, Xemnas was undeniably lying. But the blond decided against pushing further.

"Well, I'll be on my way then!" Demyx said lastly with a Cheshire grin and wave before turning the opposite way and walking away.

Xemnas sighed. How did this happen? What was he supposed to do now? Hopefully if he was still there maybe he could try and explain some things to Saïx. Well, he couldn't hide anything else any longer. It was all out. Saïx knew everything, but he obviously didn't know why it was kept a secret.

Right, so the plan was to go confront Saïx, explain everything to him without getting hurt in the process and then kiss and make up. It was clearly much easier said than done. Saïx wouldn't even want to hear it, knowing him. If he was angry enough he'd probably go berserk on him. That was never a pretty sight and the one time he did berserk against an organization member was Axel.

Maybe he wouldn't. Maybe Saïx would hear him out. Maybe he'd forgive him and everything will go back to normal. Or maybe he'd do just the opposite. He just might go berserk and let out all his anger and frustration on some unfortunate passerby since he had promised to never lay a finger on his master. Maybe he'd leave the Organization now that he knew the truth. Of course… he's probably thinking about leaving! Oh no, Xemnas would not have that! He couldn't let his Luna Diviner leave. He was his and his alone. Leaving was not an option.

With that thought alone on his mind, the Enigmatic Man teleported his way to the room Proof of Existence. And upon doing so, he found the one he had been searching for. He was sitting on the ground with his legs hugged to his chest, a habit he had formed for reasons unbeknownst to him, and his head resting on his knees while his back leaned against his headstone. Xemnas let out a soft sigh of relief, glad to know he had not left… yet.

Saïx looked up in alarm when he had sensed his Superior's presence. But just as quickly he looked up and locked eyes he looked away, turning his head so that he was not able to see Xemnas face.

Xemnas frowned at his action. He didn't want to be looked at in such a way. Not full of hatred. He'd never seen such anger in Saïx's eyes before. He'd never seen so much hate. It was so alien he didn't know what to think of it.

The two nobodies remained blanketed in an ill silence before Saïx had decided to finally speak, feeling that awkward tension building was more than enough to bear.

"How long did you know about it?" Saïx asked clearly, keeping his gaze away from Xemnas.

Xemnas remained silent, unable to find the words to answer the question. Saïx only shook his head when he received no reply. "I can't believe you would hide something like this from me."

"Saïx, listen—

"Why should I?" Saïx nearly yelled, "All you're going to do is lie to me!" His loud voice came unexpectedly and cut off Xemnas mid sentence.

"Saïx, it is not like that. You just have to listen." Xemnas nearly pleaded.

Saïx only turned his head to stare at his superior with malice. Literally intense malice. "Well? These ears aren't just here for show."

Xemnas couldn't hide the scowl. He dismissed the comment and began his explanation. "Honestly, Saïx, I did not mean to hurt you in any way."

Not even past the first and Saïx scoffed, but Xemnas disregarded that as well and continued. "I did not want to keep these things from you but it was up to me and my five subordinates to decide whether or not the truth be told to you. It goes without saying, we kept it secret. We believed it would be the best thing for you seeing as though you somehow had amnesia. You had no recollection of what has happened to you. So, since you had forgotten we thought it best it stayed forgotten."

"But you kept the reports. You continued your research on me." Saïx said. "Why? I'm not just some test subject of yours to fool around with! I was human once!"

"Saïx."

Hearing his name called as if given an order, he hushed down and remained quiet. But even silenced, the Luna Diviner stared scornfully at his superior.

"When we had found you, you were young, maybe around your late teens. It was only six years ago…" Xemnas began and sighed, knowing that this was going to be the hardest thing he had to say. He walked over to where the Luna Diviner was and sat beside him, leaning on to him and resting his head on the other's shoulder. It seemed like Saïx didn't mind given that he did not move himself. He did frown, but the Enigmatic Man did not see it. Xemnas sighed again before continuing his story.

"Xigbar, Xaldin and I were surveying your world that day. We passed through a small town. It seemed calm and pleasant. Very peaceful. But I had not the slightest care since we were only there to observe the lives of humans. That's when I saw you for the first time, sitting on the porch of your house, staring out distantly at the children who had been enjoying a game of tag in front of your house. You were alone. At least you appeared to be at first. You looked so lonely and miserable, and yet eager to play with the children. But somehow, you were held back as if by some invisible shackles. You never moved. You just watched. And at the time, I had no idea what I was feeling as I watched you watching the children, in complete silence. All that was heard were the sound of innocent child laughter.

"But then someone, maybe your father or guardian of some type I though but clearly the person who held the key to your restraints, had come out looking angry for some reason. He began to holler at you, his angry roars could've been hard miles away. You yelled back in defense but that action had cost you dearly seeing as he grabbed your arm, yanked you close to him and struck you across your cheek. The slap was so hard and loud I remember I nearly cringed.

"You did not cry though. Your remained strong, firm, as if your pride as a man would not let you cry out or even recoil each time he struck you. Which he had done so a few or more times over until you bled. Your lip had probably split, from what I was able to see. When the man had seen the damaged he had done to you he pulled you close into a loving embrace, apologizing over and over again, regretting ever laying a finger on you.

"Not once did your waver. Not once did flinch. And at that time, I remember admiring that. You were only a child, but you had kept your head high. You held such a strong will. I had admired that so much. And so, as I am scientist and I studied the heart, I had decided to keep an eye on you. Over time, you had endured all that man's torture. As I saw, it was probably more than torture if there was such a word that did justice. My mind could not wrap around the fact that a child was able to withstand everything that man had done to you. I was fascinated by your will power to take in so much and have the courage to fight back.

"I am glad that you do not remember such things. At least not all of it. It's always been out of habit that you do the things you do now. Have you ever wondered why you always fear intimacy? Why you always push others away when they near you? Or rather, why you easily anger?"

Saïx only shook his head in reply and Xemnas continued.

"Those questioned shall be answered as I tell you the story. As I was saying before, I had admired the strong will power you possessed. I had discussed this with the others and they seemed rather interested as well. So we planed to test your will power. We had come to a hypothesis that a Nobody is created when one with a strong will is claimed by darkness. So we wanted to prove it by sending out a heartless attack on your town.

"Heartless went into your home, or what you had once called it your prison, and you fought against them. Your heart along with that mans was taken by the heartless, forever lost into the darkness. What had become of that man, I still do not know to this day. But what had become of you is what you are now. Your body, as we predicted was in the darkness, reshaping only slightly, and you were reborn into the world as a Nobody. You alone had proven our theory that all nobodies exist because of their will power.

"When we had brought you into our world, like I had said before, you had absolutely no recognition of your past as a human. We believed it to be just a minor amnesia. But so much time went by we decided not to tell you. I believed painful experiences are better left forgotten. And I still hold true to that. That is the reason why I kept it from you for so long.

"After a few days of observing you some more, I had come to realize you kept to some of your old habits. Such as what you were doing now." Xemnas paused to move himself from Saïx and to point out the position the blue haired nobody was in. "When you feel hurt, or vulnerable, you tend to curl up somewhere. Mostly places where feel most comfortable or safe. Another habit is when you recoil when other touch you. You move yourself away from them. Your fear any type of touch. You dislike anyone close to you because you fear pain. You don't want to hurt again. True you cannot feel any longer since you have no heart but as I said, these are habits that you kept. These are the scars that man left behind. And all that anger inside you when you were still human is what you are. You are the reflection of what was inside your heart, making you the crazed berserker."

Saïx, who had been listening intently the entire time, was now staring out into the distance with wide eyes. So much information at one time, it took some time for it to all sink in. He couldn't believe it because he could not remember it but… he was speaking the truth. It was in the reports only Xemnas explanation was much clearer. But… that did not change anything. Hearing this only enraged him. He stood up and looked at Xemnas with all the anger he was able to sum up. He was not satisfied. Not one freaking bit. (is starting to lose train of thought…)

"No!" Saïx started. "Telling me this… explaining everything… it changes nothing!"

Xemnas looked at Saïx in confusion. He didn't understand why Saïx was so angry. He never experienced so much anger and hatred directed at him. Saïx never, ever, looked at him with those scornful eyes. Those eyes were never meant for him. But at the same time they were.

"You… no! I don't understand any of this!"

"Saïx…" Xemnas began as he stood up as well, seeing that his boyfriend was ready to go on a tirade. So much pent up anger, he seemed like he was ready to explode any minute. He had to calm him down somehow. Xemnas tried to approach him to calm him but he was shoved away. Xemnas' eyes were wide in shock.

"I shouldn't have been a Nobody! It wasn't supposed to be this way! I was never meant to be here!" Xemnas continued to stare at Saïx with wide eyes as he shouted. "How could you do something like that!?"

Xemnas could only listen as his boyfriend ranted, and his eyes widened slightly when tears, tears of anger, began to build in his golden eyes. Saïx… he was so angry, so frustrated, and so hurt. Xemnas actually saw those emotions in his eyes. He saw Saïx's emotions. He couldn't feel, but he did. Maybe they were just illusions. Maybe he supposed to feel that way because he remembered feeling. Maybe Saïx thought he was intended to feel betrayed. Maybe Xemnas felt guilty because he was intended to?

There was no time to think about that. All that mattered was Saïx. He hurt him. And feeling hurt was never pleasant even without a heart. Would it hurt more since a Nobody is not meant to feel it?

Xemnas shook his head. That really didn't matter. Why couldn't he forget his study of the heart and human emotion for one second!?

When Xemnas tried again to approach him, Saïx stepped back away, shaking his head.

"I'm not a test subject. I'm not a lab rat for you scientist to toy with!" And with that Saïx tried to push his way past Xemnas but failed since Xemnas grabbed hold of his arms. Of course the angry nobody struggled.

"Don't. Let go!"

"Saïx, please stop," Xemnas nearly begged as Saïx fought against the Superiors iron grip.

"I said let go!" Saïx shouted one last time before falling to his knees in forfeit. And for the first time, ever, he began to sob. Xemnas was shocked, and witnessing this, he had realized the biggest mistake he made.

He broke his doll…

"How could you?" Saïx sobbed, "You all used me."

Hearing this, Xemnas felt something in the pit of stomach. He felt guilty. So guilty, it made him sick. Everything Saïx said, what he truly felt, made Xemnas feel mortified. Saïx was so right in so many ways. How could he have done such a thing?

"I had a heart… and I was robbed."

"Saïx…" Xemnas tried once more but Saïx yanked his hand away from his grasp and shouted again, telling him to leave him. He rose to his feet and backed away again, not wanting to be near Xemnas any longer.

"Don't… touch me," he said, his voice full of anger.

"Saïx, you can't possibly think that. I never meant to hurt you."


	5. Chapter FOUR

_Chapter Four…_

**--**

Porcelain Dolls…

How lovely and exquisite they are. Beautiful yet so fragile… and, oh, so easy to break. Of course, if dropped, they crack.

And that is exactly what happens when you mistreat them.

How careless had he been. His one and only doll broken again. This time, maybe, beyond repair. How could he have done such a thing? He promised he'd care for him. He promised so much. But in the end, because of his foolishness, he broke Saïx. He shattered his Luna Diviner into thousands of pieces.

This was not supposed to happen.

"So… what now?"

Bronze colored eyes flickered over to the Free Shooter. In the same instant Xemnas' angry, frustrated eyes met with Xigbar's hazel ones, the older man looked away with a nervous smirk, regretting that he even spoke. Xemnas' eyes went back to the pearl table top where the reports sat as he thought the answer to Xigbar's question. The rest of the occupants of the table were seated quietly lost in their own thoughts, too intimidated to word them to their superior. It was completely awkward and unnerving to have an angry leader in the room. Xemnas was twice as frightening and perilous when angry and no one wanted to risk beheading to question why he was in such a mood.

"Unbelievable," he sighed deeply for the umpteenth time today.

That's exactly what it was. _Utterly_ unbelievable. To be sitting there of course. Xaldin huffed in annoyance. He didn't care what the superior did now; he just wanted this meaningless meeting to be over with. Why did he ask for a meeting in the first place? And in the middle of the night? If it was so urgent why not say what it is and get it over with? Xaldin sighed again as he thought against questioning his superior.

Yet Vexen was thinking the exact opposite. What was so important that he had to be disturbed from his work? "Sir, if I may ask, what _is it_ that you need from us?" the scientist finally voiced, stressing the "is it" part.

Xemnas looked over to his subordinate with a cold glint in his eyes which nearly made the Chilly Academic shiver, despite himself. Xemnas looked back at the table and sighed for the last time and finally spoke.

"Do you all remember our first experiment six years ago? The one in Resplendent Void?"

"Six years ago… our first experiment?" Lexeaus questioned, blue eyes squinted slightly in confusion.

"After we had become Nobodies," Xemnas answered. "Do you not remember when we had discovered how Nobodies were truly born?"

His five subordinates at the table all pondered, thinking quietly to themselves. This annoyed the Enigmatic Man and he huffed in exasperation while shaking his head in disbelief. He pushed the papers in front of him toward the Whirlwind Lancer which he picked up and looked over quickly. His eyes widened slightly before narrowing and eyebrows frowning as he continued to look over the reports in his hands.

"These… they're about Number Seven… and the episode six years ago." Xaldin's eyebrows frowned in thought. He flipped through the pages once again before passing the papers over to Xigbar. Xaldin kept his blue eyes on the table in thought as the free shooter scanned the papers with his one good eye.

"Of course, how could I forget? But, why bring this up now? You had us swear never to mention it again, especially not while Number Seven was present."

"But… you continued to study him," Xigbar said while passing the reports along. "And so have Vexen and Zexion."

Xemnas remained silent, only leaning back in his seat and resting his arms on the arms of the white chair. He kept his gaze on the table, thinking thoroughly on his words.

"Xemnas?" Xaldin questioned with a quirk of one of his thick brows.

"Did he… find out?" Zexion breathed as his blue eyes darted over to the silent Enigmatic Man.

"That he's been our test subject for the past six years?" Xemnas let out a grim chuckle while running a gloved hand through his white mane, "That and much more."

"So, he has regained his memory?" Vexen asked. Xemnas shook his head.

"He hasn't remembered a thing. It was those reports he read and those alone he goes by. He is confused because he has no clue what to believe."

"How did he get his hands on the reports?" Xigbar asked.

"He found them somehow," Xemnas lied. He decided against telling them what really had happened to avoid questions about their relationship.

"So how did he take the news?"

"Poorly, as assumed," Xemnas sighed. "That is why I called you five here. Number VII has yet to go berserk but anything could make him snap. We cannot risk that. He will become unstoppable and I do not want to harm him. He is valuable to the Organization and we must not have him leave either. I cannot approach him for he now knows I am the one responsible for what he is."

_I am the one responsible for what he has become,_ Xemnas thought regretfully for a second but then shook his head to rid the thought.

"Man… it's been six years though," Xigbar grunted in bothersome as he scratched the back of his head. "And that's a really long time."

"Six years too long. For six years we've ignored it—we've forgotten it. For six years Number VII has been oblivious to the truth. And so many years it has taken me to realize my stupidity. We made a mistake but we've continued to ignore it, completely knowing it was there, right in front of our faces. Until it grew into a problem. A problem I did not see because I was too blinded by foolishness to see it before."

"Was it really foolishness?" came Zexion's voice, soft and almost distant. Xemnas' light brownish red eyes met with Zexion's light blue. "It's… something no one else could ever understand. Right?"

Xemnas gave a humorless chuckle as he brushed away a few strands from his eyes. "Of course, you would know such things."

Zexion smirked slightly, "Xemnas, you're losing your touch. You're like an open book."

Xigbar blinked in confusion as he looked from Zexion to his Superior. "What's this about books and such?"

Xemnas sighed, picking up where he had left off. "Our mistake—my mistake, has confused Number VII. He will probably harm the others so we cannot leave him the way he is and we _cannot _afford to have him leave."

"Sir, are you suggesting that…" Lexeaus trailed off, slightly shocked in disbelief.

"Your orders are to find Number Seven and confine him." Xemnas regretted letting such words leave his lips, but they were already out before he had a chance to stop himself. Somehow, for _some odd reason_, he actually felt an ache where his heart should've been. A mental image of the past flashed before his eyes, the painful remembrance overwhelming him with nausea. He quickly put his face into his gloved hands, taking in deep and heavy breaths. _I promised… I promised I'd never lock him away again. Why… am I doing this?!_

"Xemnas?"

The Enigmatic Man fell back to reality, removing his hands from his face and letting out a deep, shaky breath. _I shouldn't be doing this,_ he thought. _I can't do this again. I cannot do this to him again… but…_

"Go. You have your orders," he said lastly, looking away almost in shame.

His subordinates all obliged, leaving the room quickly and leaving their higher up alone. He stood up once the door shut and made his way to the only window in the room. He looked through the oversized glass shaped as their symbol and looked up at their Kingdom Hearts in making.

"I cannot take back what has been done. I can only beg for your forgiveness. And maybe… you'd consider loving me again." Xemnas let out a heavy breath as his eyes averted away from the small heart shaped moon. "Once we attain our hearts, you can do as you wish… and finally leave this hell."

--

Angry cries echoed throughout the corridors of the castle. Saïx roared furiously as he swung his claymore at his tombstone with all his force yet was unsuccessful in breaking it into pieces. His existence no longer mattered to him. He did not exist. He no longer needed proof. It was only a lie. His existence was fabricated from the beginning. He should've never lived. Why continue to live when you have no heart?

Again he lifted his weapon over him and brought it down fiercely, crying out. Yet the headstone did not break. This only infuriated the berserker further and he began swinging at the stone several times, snarling ferociously as he battered it with intense strength.

Nothing. Neither a scratch nor a dent.

"Agh! Dammit all!" he cried, slamming his claymore to the ground. "Damn it all to hell!" he said once again before falling to his hands and knees in front of the memorial.

"I'm... so confused," he sobbed almost pathetically. He had become so helpless—so weak. How could he let himself come out in such a way? He shut his eyes tightly, struggling to keep in the tears that threatened to fall. "I am… not… weak! I won't… I won't!"

_Not for him!_

"Saïx."

Golden eyes snapped open and an audible gasp echoed in the room. The blue haired man quickly moved to his feet and instantly turning around, facing the one who caught him in such an embarrassing state. His face flushed instantly, seeing Number III standing at the doorway with his hands behind his back as usual and his face firm. They silently stared at each other, tear filled yellow eyes locked with strong blue ones.

Xaldin quirked up an eyebrow in question, as if to say, "are you alright?" Saïx did not answer his silent question. Instead, he turned around to pick up his claymore, completely ignoring Xaldin.

The older man sighed and lowered his head. "Saïx… I must ask you something. Are you planning to leave the Organization?"

The berserker did not turn around or even answer. He simply kept his head low, contemplating whether or not he should answer.

"Why do you ask?" he finally said.

"You want me to be honest?" Xaldin asked.

"As honest as you can be."

Xaldin let out a deep breath before saying, simply, "I have orders from Xemnas to detain you."

Saïx let out a laugh, a dry and humorless laugh. "Is that right?"

Xaldin looked up at the berserker, his eyes meeting with his back. "Only if you try to leave. Or go berserk. Either way, you have to come with me."

"And if I don't?" he drawled.

Xaldin frowned and his eyebrows furrowed. "I suggest you don't try and protest. It'd be much easier for all of us."

Saïx allowed a small smirk to tug at his lips. The familiar smirk that only played on his lips when he craved for blood; when bloodlust overcame his entire being. He wanted to spill blood tonight, and much of it. Even if it were his own. He could almost taste it.

"Why should I make things easier," Saïx began, turning around to face the whirlwind lancer once again, smirk still on his face, "when it matters not what I so or do. It doesn't change my fate."

"Saïx…" Xaldin breathed in a warning tone as his six lances appeared around him. "Don't."

Saïx chuckled as he tightened his grip around the handle of his claymore and getting into his fighting stance. "Spilling a little blood won't make much of a difference."

--

"What is it, Zexion?" Lexeaus asked while looking at said Nobody in question. Vexen looked up as well, temporally stopping his search for Saïx's documents. They were recently given new orders to find anything regarding Number VII, so now they were in Vexen's laboratory.

Zexion's sapphire orbs were narrowed in thought and his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. He tilted his head slowly to the side, causing a few loose strands of silver to uncover his right eye. His fellow Nobodies continued to stare at him in question, awaiting a reply from the younger male.

"I smell… an unfamiliar darkness," Zexion finally voiced, breaking the thick silence in the room.

"Unfamiliar?" Vexen asked with a quirk of his blond brow.

"He has a strange scent."

"A male?"

"I'm not sure," Zexion's eyes averted to nothing in particular as he spoke, "but his smell… it's odd."

"Maybe he's wearing funny cologne?" The question earned the scientist a fierce glare from the Zexion. The blond only smiled sheepishly and shrugged before turning his attention back to the papers on his desk. Lexeaus only sighed and shook his head.

"Wait….." Zexion trailed off, walking over to the open window in the room. "He's here… He's in the city."

The other two occupants of the room looked over to the silver haired boy again. They waited silently for him to throw out more information about the unknown trespassing through their city.

"He's full of Darkness… almost like the Superior. But…"

"Like the Superiors," Lexeaus repeated grimly.

"But… his scent matches Saïx's. Almost identical," Zexion finally said while moving away from the window. "This isn't good. Xemnas has to be informed."

"What is he? Human?" Vexen asked as he stood up from his chair while holding Saïx's documents in his hands.

"He's… a Nobody… but…" Zexion, once again trailed off, hesitating to finish.

"This isn't sounding very pleasant," Lexeaus commented.

"I must speak with Xemnas," Zexion said quickly as he opened a portal. But before he went through the scientist called to him. He looked back to the blond and was handed the papers.

"Make sure he gets this."

Zexion nodded before walking into the portal of darkness and disappearing into the void.

"Does he know something that we don't?" Number V asked, blue eyes on Vexen's back.

The Chilly Academic only sighed as he moved to the window Zexion had just looked through. The moon heart's radiance shone through the glass brilliantly, lighting up the darkened room. Vexen's green eyes looked up to their Kingdom Hears in making before speaking.

"Maybe… Zexion knows _too_ much."

**VIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVIIVII**


	6. Chapter FIVE

_Just Like a Porcelain Doll_

**Important note**: all the interludes are apart of what's happening around the main fic. Anything not in Saïx's or Xemnas' POV are considered interludes. They happen around the main characters. Expect them to be short! There were examples of that in the last chapter like the scene with Vexen, Lexeaus and Zexion. They are quite important but you just have to read carefully.

**Disclaimer:** KH or KH2 is not mine. It belongs to Square Enix and Disney.

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_Chapter Five (Interlude)_

(5.1)

Heavy panting echoed within the Hall of Empty Melodies. Fresh blood embellished the walls, standing out significantly in contrast with marble white. Movement had completely ceased and all was silent except for the heavy panting of three Nobodies. Tired and worn out completely, Xigbar, joining the fight shortly after it started, and Xaldin kept unwavering eyes on the Luna Diviner, awaiting his next move.

If he were able to make one.

He had been a tough opponent but due to lose of blood, his body finally gave out. He nearly took every blow without so much as flinching or recoiling. It was as if he was unaffected. But, Xaldin released an attack on Number VII that caught him completely off guard. Now he was nearly on the verge of death. Xaldin's spears had him pinned to the wall, piercing his body but not damaging any vital organs. At least, that's what the two Nobodies hoped.

"He's not dead… is he?" Xigbar asked, his breath coming out in heavy pants as he tried his best to stay on his feat.

Xaldin did not answer. Instead, he kept his eyes firmly on the Luna Diviner. He was still breathing, but slowly and in shallow breaths. Saïx was no longer able to fight. His blood continued to seep through the wounds and his crimson fluid decorated the walls and floors. Were it not for the fact that his blood was everywhere else besides inside him, he would continue to fight, probably destroying the two Nobodies. Saïx was a very tough adversary since he had gone berserk just as the battle started. Had it not been for Xigbar, Saïx would have undoubtedly ripped Xaldin to pieces… Of course, he was in the process of doing so.

Saïx's claymore was adorned with portions of flesh and blood, belonging to both Number II and III. Obviously, he was too blinded by anger and betrayal, and was on the verge of nearly killing his comrades. Odd, seeing as he couldn't feel. But then again, Xemnas always implied that Nobodies could feel both anger and hate. Nonetheless, Saïx was full of rage and could have easily killed off his higher-ups.

"Shouldn't we… unhook him?" Xigbar asked, his golden eyes on the lancer. He did not fail to notice how Number III's legs trembled slightly and how much sweat and blood covered his face.

"Would… if I could…" Xaldin replied lastly before falling back and hitting the ground, his legs finally giving out. He clutched the side of his abdomen where Saïx had completely taken out a chunk of his flesh with his claymore. The wound bled profusely, the only thing covering it now was his gloved hands. The mind numbing pain caused him to cringe as the rest of his wounds bled as well.

"Damn it…" Xigbar breathed before following suit, his own body falling forward and hitting the ground with a loud thump. He felt numb all over, the pain from his injuries too great to feel. He felt his consciousness slipping before he felt a sharp kick on his leg.

"Don't fall asleep," Xaldin ordered through gritted teeth from the pain. "Don't you dare close your eyes." Xigbar blinked in confusion for a moment before slowly nodding in understanding.

"So what… do we do now?" Xigbar asked slowly, completely out of energy.

"We wait…"

Xigbar only sighed, unsure if he _could_ wait. His body might not let him.

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(5.2)

"Something the matter, Demyx?"

Said blond looked up, aquamarine eyes blinked up to meet with emerald eyes. He frowned in annoyance as he turned over and faced the back of the couch he was currently lying on. Axel's ruby brows frowned and his lips pursed from being dismissed in such a way. He poked the blond on his side to get his attention but the boy only groaned and smacked his hand away.

"No, seriously, what's the matter with you?" the fire starter asked, disliking his friend's suddenly foul mood. Not that he always liked it. Axel always hated it when Demyx would take his nasty mood swings out on him.

Demyx didn't reply, only groaned in agitation before taking a white pillow from the couch and placing it over his head. Axel scoffed. "You know, you could just tell me what's wrong on I'll leave you alone."

The water boy didn't answer and kept his head under the pillow. An amused smirk played on Axel's lips before he walked over to the opposite side of the couch and jumped on it, lying down in a similar fashion as the blond and throwing his legs on top of the others. Demyx whined like a small child throwing a tantrum under the pillow as he tried to free his legs from under the red head however his movement only made it easier for Axel to tangle their legs together, their coats only helping his effort. Axel could only laugh when the blond cried in aggravation as he threw the marshmallow like cushion at the offending male, which he caught with little effort.

"Always making things so difficult," Axel commented as he placed the pillow behind his head and rested his head on it.

"Why don't leave me alone? Go bother you're little friend," Demyx said, voice full of irritation while glaring angrily at Axel.

"I would but… he's sleeping," Axel answered in a teasing tone, pointing over to Roxas who was napping soundly on an oversized armchair that stood adjacent from them. "I don't like to bother those who sleep."

"Yet bother those who are extremely pissed off," Demyx spat as he took another white pillow from behind him and used it to cover his angry face.

Axel smiled sympathetically at his friend, "It's not like I'm making it worse. I just want to know what made you so upset."

Before Demyx could tell him, Axel already knew the problem. "It's Xigbar, isn't it?" A muffled and miserable sigh came from the pillow. "What'd he do this time?"

"It's not even really him," Demyx sighed. "It's just…"

Axel kept his eyes on the boy lying opposite of him, "You had to find a reason to ruin a perfectly good day off."

"I can't explain it," Demyx huffed as he threw off the pillow, sitting up to look at Axel with a firm, unwavering expression. Axel did not fail to notice how serious the blond was. "Let's just say that I have this feeling in my gut. Like a horribly twisted knot in the pit of stomach. I know something's wrong."

"I don't think I get what you're trying to say," Axel said as he looked at his friend in puzzlement.

"Don't you think its weird how all our assignments were canceled and we were all given orders to stay in the castle and, by all means, stay on this floor?"

"So…" Axel began slowly, "you're saying that this is completely suspicious?"

"Don't you?" Demyx asked as his eyebrows frowned in concern. "Something's up. I can feel it."

"You mean… that nauseating feeling in your gut." Demyx nodded and Axel sighed.

"I don't know, man. I mean… haven't you noticed how the superior just called for his top five yesterday. Then suddenly today we were given orders to remain on the floor. And Saïx has been missing for, like, ever. Of course he's never around a lot but he's hasn't been seen for days. I've already been asked several times if I've seen him meaning he's gone missing somehow. And the other day he busted my sitar!"

Axel only eyed the blond oddly. "Maybe he grew tired of your nuisance?" he shrugged.

"Axel… for real. Don't you think it's kind of strange?"

Axel shook his head before moving so that he faced away from the musician. "Whatever happens upstairs is none of our business, hence why we have to stay down here."

"No, Axel, it is our business," Demyx protested, his face firm up again. "Those guys are up to something. Whatever _they_ do affects _us_. We're all a part of the same organization. We have the right to know what's going on."

Axel could only sigh upon hearing Demyx's resolve. "Okay, you're totally right and I can't argue with that. But there's only so much we could do given the situation."

The musician huffed in frustration, flopping back down on the couch. "It's totally unfair."

"That's not even the real reason you're pissed off is it?" Axel questioned as he moved his body to lie on his side. "He didn't tell you everything, did he?"

Demyx groaned as he crossed his arms over his chest. "He came down this morning only to ask me if I'd seen Saïx again. After I answered him I asked him what was going on… and he didn't answer me. He told me to stay out of it." Axel didn't fail to notice the change in Demyx's mood. The blond's voice fell unusually soft and full of concern.

"You know… worrying about it won't accomplish anything. You should just forget about it. He'll tell you when he gets a chance," the ruby haired fire bender said reassuringly.

"It's just… weird. He _always_ tells me what's up, especially when it concerns him. It scares me to know that he could probably be in danger or something," Demyx admitted softly.

"Xigbar? In danger?" Axel scoffed, "Come on, Demyx. This _is _Xigbar you're talking about. What danger could he possibly get in—

Axel was cut short by disturbing rumbling sounds emitting from the upper floors.

"…to?" Axel finished before the two Nobodies looked from each other to the ceiling with confused expressions.

"Axel…?" he questioned, looking at the pyro.

"Well… maybe something _is_ wrong," Axel said while untangling his legs from the boy and moving to sit up before there was another rumble, this time significantly louder and forceful, shaking the room.

"What the hell?" came Roxas' groggy voice from the opposite couch, sitting up while rubbing his tired eyes.

Several more eruptions came from the upstairs area and Roxas' blinked a couple of times in confusion. He gave Axel a questioning look before speaking, "What the fuck is going on?"

"Don't know, but we're about to find out," Demyx answered, looking at the fire starter for approval.

"I guess we're heading up, you coming?" Axel asked at Roxas, opening a portal via upstairs, while pushing Demyx through it. Roxas, without hesitation nodded and quickly jumped off the couch, following behind the red head. But they didn't get too far since they tripped over Demyx's fallen body once stepping through the portal.

"Motherfucker…" Axel groaned as he peeled his face of the ground. He shrugged off his little blond friend who had landed safely on top of Axel's body.

"Dude, you can't just go around pushing people through the Darkness and shit…"Demyx whined while sitting up as well and rubbing the knot that was quickly forming on his forehead.

Roxas' sharp gasp alerted the two Nobodies and they looked up, their eyes growing wide when they fell upon the gore in the room.

"What the hell happened?" Axel breathed slowly in shock.

"Oh no…. Xigbar!" Demyx instantly stood up and ran up to the blood drenched body on the floor. "Xigbar!" he called again, kneeling beside said man's body and carefully flipping him over to lie on his back.

"Hey little dude," Xigbar began with a chuckle, let a small, yet weak, grin play on his face. "Took you long enough."

"Xig… what happened to you?" he whimpered, tears instantly welling up in his eyes. "You're hurt."

"They're just scratches. Nothing serious," Xigbar reassured, keeping the weak smile.

"Those are some pretty big scratches," Axel commented as he walked past the two Nobodies, standing over Xaldin. "Damn, what the hell were you guys doing?" He looked from Xaldin to Roxas, who remained unmoving from his spot. It was like he was in a trance, as if the sight before him had traumatized him. Axel called to him, alarming the teen and making him jump the slightest. He quickly made his way to Axel, also standing over Xaldin.

"You okay?" Axel questioned while giving the blond an odd look.

Roxas nodded, "just thinking… you know.

"Alright," he said, though unsure. "Help out Xaldin while I go check out the other one."

"No," Xaldin managed to say through gritted teeth. "Leave him."

Axel gave the whirlwind lancer an ugly look. "Excuse me?"

"Do not unhook him. Leave him as he is," Xaldin said firmly. Roxas immediately knelt beside the older man and moved the hand that gripped his left side tightly so that he was able to see the gruesome gash that still bled.

"Obviously they were fighting each other…" Roxas said more to himself as he observed the other wounds on Xaldin's body. "He's in bad shape, Axel," the blond said, looking up at the older male to see that he wasn't there but already over at Saïx's pinned body.

"Axel?" the key bearer questioned, watching his friend staring at Saïx. Axel reached for a lance that kept the berserker latched to the wall but quickly recoiled when he was angrily growled at.

"Do not… touch me…" Saïx snarled, his breathing in slow yet heavy pants. Emerald eyes were wide in both confusion and shock.

"Saïx?" Axel questioned slowly while stepping forward and reaching for the lance again, yet hesitantly.

"Axel! Do not release him!"

Axel, slightly startled, looked back at Xaldin who was now sitting up with Roxas' aid.

"Why the hell not?! He'll bleed to death!" the fire starter exclaimed.

"We can't risk it. If he has enough energy to speak then he has more than enough to fight again." Xigbar answered, sitting up as well in Demyx's arms.

As Axel began to protest, Xaldin beat him to the punch. "That's an order, No. Eight."

The pyro huffed in agitation before walking back to the injured Nobody, "So besides getting Vexen…" he sighed in annoyance.

"Tell Xemnas what's going on," Xigbar answered since he had a little more strength than his comrade.

"Roxas, you heard the man," Axel said as he knelt beside Xaldin. "Tell Xem what's up while we get these two to Vex's lab."

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(5.3)

Zexion made his way to his superior's chambers post-haste. Actually, he only walked fast. His head was fogged with way too many things and he needed a moment to clear his mind. He was completely lost in thought. At times he would glance at the folder Vexen handed him, or occasionally he would glance through a window as he passed them. He couldn't help but feel worried. The problem that had simply been forgotten of for too long had come back to haunt them, with no solution in sight.

_THUNK!_

"Ow…" Zexion mumbled, rubbing his forehead. He looked up to see the door he had bumped into head first. Zexion stared at it the large double doors for a little while longer, lost in a moment of last thought before pushing them open. The young male swallowed thickly as stepped in and closed the doors behind him. His eyes fell on the Enigmatic Man almost instantly. He sat at his desk with papers strewn about. He was deeply absorbed in particular papers, flipping through them several times as though trying to find something he may have overlooked. He was so wrapped up in his work that he failed to notice his subordinate approaching. Only after clearing his throat did Zexion catch his attention. The older male quickly looked up with a surprised expression. He was slightly taken aback and instantly frowned at himself for being so unaware.

"Number Six," Xemnas acknowledged, reluctantly looking back at the paperwork once more. "Has Number Seven been found," he said, getting straight to the point.

"No, I haven't received any word from the others yet," Zexion replied with a deep sigh following after. There was a long pause afterwards. Only the sounds of flipping papers and the melancholy ticking of the clock on the far wall echoed in the white and grey room.

Xemnas sighed. "Is something the matter?" he questioned his voice monotone and cold, though it was something Zexion was, by now, used to.

"There is something important I must speak to you about," the nobody began. "And these are Vexen's lab studies and records on Saïx's amnesia and behavior."

Xemnas looked up and accepted the folder Zexion held out to him. After placing down the last thing he was reviewing, Xemnas sat back in his chair while opening the folder. As he looked through it, his expression changed to that of one of disturbance and worry. Zexion did not fail to notice the look on his superiors face.

"Xemnas?"

Said man shook his head in disregard. He closed the folder and placed it on his desk and cleared his throat, changing the subject. "What is it that we must discuss, Number Six?"

Before Zexion could answer, the doors behind him slammed opened loudly. Running in was their youngest member.

"Number 13?" Xemnas questioned as he stood up from his seat. "What are you doing up here?"

"Superior, I'm sorry, for interrupting but…. Uh…" Roxas began to stumble over his words in nervousness as both his Superiors eyes and Zexion's were on him in agitation, though he was more intimidated by his superior of course.

"What is it, thirteen?" The Enigmatic Man said with eyebrows furrowing in annoyance.

"Honestly, I don't know, there was a battle involving Xigbar, Xaldin, and Saïx.

"What?!"

"Um, we heard the commotion from the lower levels so… we went to investigate."

"What is there condition now? Are they still in battle?" Xemnas asked eagerly. He couldn't help to suppress the rising anxiety. He wanted to know if his Luna Diviner was all right.

"No, the battle's over. But their badly injured," Roxas answered. "Demyx and Axel have taken Xigbar and Xaldin to Vexen."

"And what about Number VII?" Xemnas asked almost anxiously.

"Saïx is latched to a wall in the Hall of Empty Melodies. We were given orders by Xaldin to leave him as is unless you tell us otherwise."

Zexion looked back to his Superior with a worried expression. "Xemnas…"

Xemnas sighed while sitting back in his leather seat before speaking. "Number 13; quickly fetch Numbers 5, 10, and 11. Tell them to come to my chambers immediately. Afterwards, round up Numbers 8, 9, and 12 and wait in the meeting hall for further instructions."

Roxas nodded and hurriedly made his way out of the room to carry out his orders. As the doors closed, Xemnas let out a stressed filled sigh. He then looked back at his subordinate with tired eyes. "So what exactly did you want to speak to me about?"

Zexion hesitated to reply. He didn't want to bother Xemnas with anymore trouble. But… this was probably the most important predicament of all. "Xemnas…we have a bigger problem than Saïx to deal with."

"Excuse me?" Xemnas quirked a brow in question, not understand what the younger Nobody said.

"It's…._him_, sir. He's here in our world, in our city. I can recognize that stench anywhere; I have no doubt that it's him."

Xemnas blinked in confusion for moment as the information sank in, and then looked at Zexion with wide copper eyes. "Are you saying…?"

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(5.4)

Angelic blue eyes looked up at dark fabricated clouds, despite the heavy downpour of empty rain. This world was simply beautiful. Nothing but darkness… _pure _darkness. Something that he loved dearly, something he just couldn't live without, something he quickly exchanged his already impure heart for.

Oh, how he loved the Darkness, which this world was created from. It was simply too beautiful for that fool Xehanort to rule.

Right… his name was no longer that. What was it again? Ansem? No… that was his foolish heartless proclaiming he was someone else. It was……. Xemnas! Right… the fool making anagrams and such. Did he really think he was _that_ cool?

An amused chuckle echoed in the small alley the shadowy figure was currently walking through. _Does he _really_ think he could do as he pleases? Just take away another's life for his benefit? He must _really_ think he's something._

The silhouette, with hands shoved into pockets of a black hoody, continued to walk through the dark alleyway until he ended up in the center of Memories Skyscraper. His light blue eyes, the only thing visible within the darkened hood, looked up at the tall building standing before him. Past that he was able to see the heart moon shining brightly, its radiance glowing through the poignant clouds.

_Intriguing_, he thought in puzzlement as he stared at the moon before those same eyes moved to stare at the white and grey castle of that world. He found _exactly_ what he had been searching for.

"Finally," he huffed in relief, his shoulders falling. "Took me forever to find you," he added, pointing a finger to the castle as if speaking to it. A satisfied smirk crept to the stranger's lips as he made his way to his next destination. A few heartless appeared. Their bright yellow eyes were watching his every move yet they remained inert, almost hesitating. The unknown man ignored them, knowing they wouldn't dare attack him. All they could do was either watch or follow, which the man disregarded seeing as they weren't a threat to him. The only thing on his mind was the sole person he had been desperately searching for. He only hoped he'd be there in that castle.

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(5.5)

Two dark vortexes opened at the end of the "Hall of Empty Melodies." The two Nobodies, No's X and XI, walked out, closing the portal behind them. Two pairs of blue eyes grew wide at the aftermath of the battle.

"Bloody hell, what were they doing?" Luxord let out.

Marluxia did not answer; instead he made his way to the Nobody still attached to the wall.

"Saix…" Marluxia gasped softly in shock. As the botanist reached for one of Xaldin's lances to pull out, Saïx spoke up. "Leave me," he began tiredly and completely drained of all energy. "Leave me here to die."

Marluxia gave Saïx an odd look, "Why?"

"I have… no reason to live. I no longer desire life," he replied honestly. His voice was cold and icy. "Let me die."

"Saïx, don't say things like that," Luxord said as he stood beside Marluxia.

"I already died on the inside. What difference would it make to let me live?" Saïx questioned in a whisper.

Neither Luxord nor Marluxia were able to answer that. Brushing those words off as best they could, both nobodies took hold of separate lances and quickly yanked them out of Saïx's arms. He gasped audibly before letting out a shaky breath. They discarded the weapons on the floor and continued to work on the others, receiving more gasps from Saïx.

"What… is he planning to do with me?" Saïx asked, breaking the tense silence in the room.

The gambler and botanist looked up at the berserker in puzzlement. "What?" the questioned almost simultaneously.

"Don't play coy with me," he growled. "What is he planning? What is he going to do to me?"

"We don't know. He didn't say…" Marluxia answered as before jumping back when the berserker snarled and took a swing at him with his now free arm.

"Liar!"

"Saïx, we honestly don't know. Calm yourself." Luxord said, hesitating to pull out the last lance in Saïx's left side of his abdomen in fear of having the Luna Diviner attack them.

Before anything else was either said or done, Lexeaus stepped into the room through a vortex of darkness. Yet he held a mass of heavy chains in his arms. Saïx's eyes instantly grew wide and his pupils shrinking at the sight. It was as if time had stopped. Once his yellow eyes met with those chains, bloodcurdling memories of the past flooded his mind. He knew what he was getting into once again.

"No… No!" he began to panic.

"Saïx!" Both Marluxia and Luxord exclaimed as they took hold of Number Seven. He began to thrash about; trying to fight against their grip but this stress was pushing his body over the limit. He barely had any fight left in him and he also had that lance still stuck in him. His struggle opened the wound further cutting his flesh severely.

"No! I can't! I won't go back! I won't let you take me!" he cried.

Lexeaus swallowed hard as he quickly approached the panicking Nobody then hastily began attaching the shackles… starting with Saïx's collar.

"NO!" he nearly screamed desperately, almost pleading. Saïx continued to resist as much as his torn body would allow, but inevitably all the shackles and thick chaining were on.

"Unhook him and grab hold!" Lexeaus ordered the two. Luxord promptly detached the final spear in him as Marluxia released the berserker at the same time before the two immediately took hold of the chains. The Luna Diviner couldn't even go full berserk on them, considering he was drained of all energy. Nonetheless he continued to fight against them, refusing to give in and let him be taken away.

"I won't!! I won't!!" he exclaimed.

The Silent Hero opened a portal and began dragging Saïx through it, with Marluxia and Luxord helping as well. As the hole of Darkness closed, Saïx's panicked cries echoed in the Hall of Empty Melodies.

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A/N: Here, The last chapter that left me to discontinue this fic... Though I will continue it. If enough people tell me to finish this story, I will.


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